Yesterday

2.14.11
8:23pm
--FYI, yesterday is used as a metaphor for college--

I loved you yesterday
And now I have regret to pay
And I fret to say
I'm done, I'm leaving-but apparently that's just so wrong to say
What happened to the excitement like, " Oh how do I love thee, let me count the ways?"
The days I used to love you
I used to live for you, crave you
So brave that you showed me a way that you could love me too
My heaven on earth, a gift
A lift when I'm down, a shift
In my attitude
Not glad that you are now leaving me
Deceiving me
And believing you and forgetting about me isn't an option
I used to respect you a lot then
Yesterday, I believed in you
My imagination now fades to blue
Watching the inside of my eyelids cuz now i don't give a fuck about you
I tune you out, waiting for things to change
I'm insane to continue thoughts in my brain
Playing with my mental
I thought I had enough sense though
Promising a life that may never come
Drowning my thoughts in Rum
Stay blowed to forget you, to neglect you
I bet you, have a plan to get rid of me as I stand next to you
I ask you for something and you tell me no
But that's ok bitch cuz you reap what you sow!
Damn yesterday was beautiful, when I had no care in this universe
And now I'm cursed for trying
A future I wanted, but maybe I don't

"I just hope that you miss me a little when I'm gone" but you wont 

I'm still waiting on yesterday; I loved you yesterday
Its a feeling that's hard to say
A blur that pretends to fade
An idea flying wildly in array
Oh yeah I know yesterday and I want it back...

A BrainSTORM

 2.9.11
 3:10pm to 5:42pm.

For seven years I gave my heart to a man I now resent

Not content-a slightly crooked view now bent

Gullible thoughts of longevity, a passionate love now bittersweet

A feeling I never thought I could defeat

Walking through Hell, hot coals on my feet

And I still love you yet Lucifer I meet

You know I love you, not in love with you; recognize the difference

Unanswered questions, how could you have did this?

I believe there is potential happiness, but I don't like to admit that I'm afraid

My night and shining armor patiently waiting hoping angry thoughts would soon fade

Head over heels, don't fall on yo ass

Teach me how to feel because I want it to last

And even if it ends, let me enjoy this moment now

An optimistic attitude in rough times and i don't know how

I breathe in so deep, I don't wanna leave

And its so hard to admit that you don't necessarily belong to me

Smiling so hard I cannot lie

You're the reason I show my sensual side

You give me a high drugs could never take me

Sleep peacefully, don't wake me from this paradise

I'll say it twice- I'm happy

Creating dumb rules in my head not knowing I just want a reaction, see??

A talented man taking the place, nurturing a broken spirit

I feel it-I know you hear it

The mirror now shows something different

So I stand here, thanking you in advance

The beauty inside of you smiles at me and positive feelings enhance

Well maybe its too early for these feelings, or maybe not

In the end I cannot complain since I'm always all I got

Teaching Him How To Spell

 4.4.11

 L is for the lies you've told me although you thought I would ignore
Free me from deceitful secrets, your integrity I used to adore
And now loneliness overcomes my soul, face as moist as morning dew
My mentality is so clouded cuz I don't know whether to kiss or smack you
Because I love you, I gotta shove you to my last priority
Respect my love, cry more for those days lost in foolish acts
I'm not bitchin at you, just simply stating facts
O is for overwhelming feelings of doubt you gave me
Obviously I wasn't enough of a woman to feed your overactive appetite, you see..
All I ever wanted was to love you and take care of you-treat you as my king
But apparently I was just your sideline thing
Until you found something better
And as I cater to you, you're texting her and I'm writing you love letters
See, I was ready and willing to do whatever for you and you were just willing to let me
To forget me
And I regret we let it get this far
Because that much needed conversation that was for today always seemed to be put off until tomorrow
V is for the venom flowing through my veins with your blood type
You poison me with bullshit that floods my state of mind
Find yourself in time so I can discover the rest of life
So maybe next time it wont be filled with such strife
And might I have another try
"You had me at hello," but then goodbye
E is for energy wasted in you
You used to hold my attention, on of very few
Learning to love, doing things I don't do
They say to get something you never had, you must do something you never did
Spring cleaning to rid my tears and heartache
You don't even understand what it means to be first
And now Im cursed-my best man now the worst
My love has been replaced with cold ice
I'll continue on and try not to make the same mistake twice

What's Yo Name Again?

 5.22.11
10:53pm

Whats your name again??
 I try my best to ponder and nowhere in my mind is you fonder
What's your name again??
LOL.WTF. LBVS.OMG. FML
What's your name again??
Were you a friend?, a lover or just pretend?
I'm trying my best to comprehend
Maybe it'll be better if you had some picture mail to send
Quite interesting how you approached the bench
And you say you know me from where?
You thought loving me and leaving me because you weren't ready was fair?
Refusal to be trapped in your lie of webs or disgusting lair
New knowledge teaches me to be prepared
No competition if me and you were compared
Incompatible, Irrational, Miles from practical, now please tell me,
What's your name again?
As if I really care, so very unaware
Im not an angry, bitter bitch, but beware
Soothing feel of tranquility, a nurturing woman-come close if you dare
Again, you know me from where?
Distant from bullshit-epic fail
Forgotten memories, maybe they never existed
Looking up past emotions and it shows: UNLISTED
I'm guessing you could have fixed this
Hhmmm...I'm done with this conversation going no where, who are you but another man you think I should flatter?
Past friend, lover, whatever you were, it clearly doesn't matter
WAIT- you really think you know me huh??...
Whats yo name again??

You

 5.28.11
4:20AM-6:19AM

Your existence smells of sweet lilacs
Racks and sacks of merriment fills our gaps
Around this circle for you I'd run laps
On this love drug, any day I'd relapse
Affectionate song lyrics reiterates my heart's joy
The radio seems to know when I'm lovesick
Rereading charismatic sonnets and writing limericks
A career I'll never quit
A candle forever lit
A problem we'll always fix
A bullet i couldn't miss
What's another word for love???, Cuz this is it
Awaken me from nightmares that don't exist
Acknowledge past times I always love to miss
I hear the bass in your blink
Countless thoughts to think
You are the definition of kink;)
Your love forever embedded in me as ink
Indulgence in your every step
Reminiscing and seeing how much love is left
Delicately kissing, caressing your lips, holding on to your breath
More and more words don't do you any more justice
An eternity of love filled with overwhelming bliss

You Remind Me

5/30/11
1:47AM-5:53AM

You remind me of....a bird
Can't quite put my finger on the word
It most likely something you've never heard
Soaring throughout the heavens, an unknown forthcoming blurred
Eventually that feeling occurred
And it must be my muse
Explosive imagination, a fuse
Simplistic smiles to reuse
You won me over with that first wink
I want to be the chaser in your life and your drink
You remind me of the rain
The inspiration to give me faith that life continues on
Elegant scent of the fresh morning dew on every blade of grass on the lawn
Dancing in darkness dodging droplets barefoot
Lightening strikes and there goes that scared look, had me shook
But it's not fear-its passion, like in those fairy tale books
The one that stole my heart and did whatever it took
Melting clocks, don't record the time
Sincere friendship, distant lovers and finally this moment is mine
Breathtakingly kind
Slippery love making on the 50 yard line
To every boundary, I was blind
Using vibrant crayons to color outside each line, each rhyme
A tale as old as time
Whimsical creativity, how could I forget?
Frolicking excitedly to unwritten music
Clothes beside random park benches, neglect
Pure innocence, game reset
Call me crazy, you're perfect
Just one problem, I haven't met you yet

No Reservations

“No Reservations”

8.22.11 

He gives me love like-no reservations

No waiting, no contemplating

No temptations, extra marital relations

Just sweet serenity and intense appreciation

History in the making

No erasing past mistakes because it makes us

And its crazy cause, no one can seem to understand us

He gives me love like no reservations

Submissive to my king with divine adulation

Winks of public infatuation

I am not a prisoner in my skin, but rather an advocate for free love & adoration

Open communication, a lesson he taught

Falling in love was all our fault

Whispers of sweet everythings delighted me

And inspired me to be good to me and the best to we

Cause divided we die, so united we prosper

I have an acute sense of gratification, woman’s intuition

There is no competition because what I provide is mental

It’s a list that grows longer

Devotion that shows stronger daily, comprehend

A bond to feel to understand

And for me, there is only one man

Feeding my overactive appetite for procreation

Heightened sensuality and passionate affection

No calls, no waiting in line

Call me impulsive & impatient, but I want my love now and I want it with no reservations

Continuous Relapse

12.3.11
9pm

delightful good days
evaporate my fears and condensate wisdom
and with my tear drops, fill them
until they overflow
writing cliche messages in calligraphy against my heart
as art, a public gallery for you in me, although apart
inspired by laughter, photographic memory capture
wash my sorrows and polish wonder
provoked by smiles,free flowing sweet motives
under my free spirit, you'll find pure desires
replenish my identity-reiterating beautiful tranquil memories
then, dark clouds in spring time
desperately searching,lonely state of mind
while i find confusion-mirages, illusions
what am i to do, who am i trust, what am i to believe is true
am i wrong or am i a seed that grew and continued to bloom
whose standards shall i measure up to
lost in the desert blindfolded, guided by evil
nomadic no-no's i shouldn't live by
here i stand, alone watching myself cry
positive thoughts dry
honesty lies, grey skies
and looking up as doves fly i see my dreams waving goodbye

Nervous

6.21.12

Apprehensive to the thought

Tender to the feel

Heartbreaking to the news

Shit just got real

Give me your honest opinion, Let me inside your soul

I can try to forgive them for throwing me inside this black hole

Im nervous, oh so nervous

Give me your undying  love, your beautiful spirit

Without evil motives, slowly touch me to heal it

No rush, we have the world to spend

So lend me your ear and your hand

Lurking around the facts, fill me between the cracks

So we'll always have each others backs

He might just love me-  I can tell by the way he acts

No gossiping, simply stating facts

Oh damn, I'm nervous

What will they think? Who will they tell?

Will they know I'm real, or a mirage of Hell?

Second guessing spilling my all

Since good times go up but must eventually fall

Bullshit on line one, please take my call

If only you knew or wasn't scared

I'm usually bottled up, but today I'm fearless without a care

I leave your mind wandering, pausing, pondering

But today-oh today I'm free

Splashing in puddles, dancing in the rain but don't judge me :)

Sandpaper Love

6.25.12

10:53pm

you got that sandpaper love.

that scratch scratch

that right below my back that

i cant ever seem to reach

sucking my blood, similar to a leech

its leaving marks that wont ever seem to cease

its creating thick scabs that wont ever seem to flee

you give me this sandpaper love.

the burning agony through layers of my skin

and u tell me this is where the pain will begin

i ask how is this love and u start to grin

you sicken me with sadness, you poison me with the hype

you take me through darkness and never show me a light

my skin is falling off, I'm losing sanity and patience and all

my entire body bruised from rubbing it against the wall

i don't want this sandpaper love, get it off me

and i finally look in the mirror to see

i'm polished and clean and free

i now understand and i'm thankful to you and the powers that be..

R.M.I (Respect My Ink), Thank You!

 8/30/12

11:01pm

This is NO DISRESPECT to my elders but you will respect my INK

I'm worth a lot of money, don't you think?

Your artwork may have been mostly on paper but at all times I carry mine

You don't have to understand my generation, that's fine

Stereotypical demeanors don't get two seconds of my time

But all the "shame on you" stares have to end

Tattooing is not a fad, its a brand, so get lost or hop on the bandwagon

My income is invested rather than wasted

For a reason, this ink is exactly where I placed it

In 2012, I can only be a free spirit, face it

The things I love most on this earth are embedded in me

That zzzzzzzz...tattoo drill calms me

It rips open my skin and deposits love in and

No, you don't have to understand it

My ink is the electricity that shapes and moves the artistic me

So pardon me, while I walk away from your dumb questions, like

No, I haven't been in a gang-No, I didn't just get out of jail

Reiterating my point again, but your mind is so frail

The world has moved on from black and white TVs

From a beta max, a tracks, tapes to HDs and Blu-Ray dvds

No better , no worse, just different

Simply giving you my input in

Its more for me, not all for a show

To ponder about life's simplistic values to always know

And the line of humility to remain below

Calm down, its a tattoo gun, not a knife

Watch ya mouth, because that "delinquent" could save ya life

Rolling your eyes in disbelief wont make my ink disappear

I'd rather be free, than live in fear

And yeah, you right I will get more

I live for those stares like, Daammmnn, I never seen ink on nobody like that before!"

Free

"Free"

7.22.2012

7:05pm

Waves fade into the earth

And as still waters calm

The colors of the wind

From dusk til dawn

Before the storm and post tragedy

Be glad that we are free

In our skin, thoughts and choices

Fearless in our voices

Invincible dreamer-no boundaries in my smile

Don't put it there, keep it there

Soaring in midair

Nothing matters but love, less of grief

My reason for breathing is your sigh of relief

It's less of what you know and more of what you seek

It's less of what you learn and more of what you teach

It's building from the bottom to see where you'd reach

Study this free contract that is never to be breached

Let me be me

Let me be free

In this life, in my skin

I've gained the world's confidence and I've seen lying since

Shame.

We're not trapped in this fence

A mind with high quality, so dense

Might you question my motives and me

And believe you me

I'm free

And through love I breathe

And inspiration is the battle

While adversity is the war

Be armed with ambition

And drive through more

More and more miles down the road

So take that drive and take heed to whatever is told

And watch the ugly unfold

With signs "For Sale" now sold

Selling dreams, so bold

Might you one day understand my hustle

My life, tragedies and troubles

If you can remember anything

Know my motto, know my creed

It will always simplistically read, FREE