Yesterday

2.14.11
8:23pm
--FYI, yesterday is used as a metaphor for college--

I loved you yesterday
And now I have regret to pay
And I fret to say
I'm done, I'm leaving-but apparently that's just so wrong to say
What happened to the excitement like, " Oh how do I love thee, let me count the ways?"
The days I used to love you
I used to live for you, crave you
So brave that you showed me a way that you could love me too
My heaven on earth, a gift
A lift when I'm down, a shift
In my attitude
Not glad that you are now leaving me
Deceiving me
And believing you and forgetting about me isn't an option
I used to respect you a lot then
Yesterday, I believed in you
My imagination now fades to blue
Watching the inside of my eyelids cuz now i don't give a fuck about you
I tune you out, waiting for things to change
I'm insane to continue thoughts in my brain
Playing with my mental
I thought I had enough sense though
Promising a life that may never come
Drowning my thoughts in Rum
Stay blowed to forget you, to neglect you
I bet you, have a plan to get rid of me as I stand next to you
I ask you for something and you tell me no
But that's ok bitch cuz you reap what you sow!
Damn yesterday was beautiful, when I had no care in this universe
And now I'm cursed for trying
A future I wanted, but maybe I don't

"I just hope that you miss me a little when I'm gone" but you wont 

I'm still waiting on yesterday; I loved you yesterday
Its a feeling that's hard to say
A blur that pretends to fade
An idea flying wildly in array
Oh yeah I know yesterday and I want it back...

A BrainSTORM

 2.9.11
 3:10pm to 5:42pm.

For seven years I gave my heart to a man I now resent

Not content-a slightly crooked view now bent

Gullible thoughts of longevity, a passionate love now bittersweet

A feeling I never thought I could defeat

Walking through Hell, hot coals on my feet

And I still love you yet Lucifer I meet

You know I love you, not in love with you; recognize the difference

Unanswered questions, how could you have did this?

I believe there is potential happiness, but I don't like to admit that I'm afraid

My night and shining armor patiently waiting hoping angry thoughts would soon fade

Head over heels, don't fall on yo ass

Teach me how to feel because I want it to last

And even if it ends, let me enjoy this moment now

An optimistic attitude in rough times and i don't know how

I breathe in so deep, I don't wanna leave

And its so hard to admit that you don't necessarily belong to me

Smiling so hard I cannot lie

You're the reason I show my sensual side

You give me a high drugs could never take me

Sleep peacefully, don't wake me from this paradise

I'll say it twice- I'm happy

Creating dumb rules in my head not knowing I just want a reaction, see??

A talented man taking the place, nurturing a broken spirit

I feel it-I know you hear it

The mirror now shows something different

So I stand here, thanking you in advance

The beauty inside of you smiles at me and positive feelings enhance

Well maybe its too early for these feelings, or maybe not

In the end I cannot complain since I'm always all I got

Teaching Him How To Spell

 4.4.11

 L is for the lies you've told me although you thought I would ignore
Free me from deceitful secrets, your integrity I used to adore
And now loneliness overcomes my soul, face as moist as morning dew
My mentality is so clouded cuz I don't know whether to kiss or smack you
Because I love you, I gotta shove you to my last priority
Respect my love, cry more for those days lost in foolish acts
I'm not bitchin at you, just simply stating facts
O is for overwhelming feelings of doubt you gave me
Obviously I wasn't enough of a woman to feed your overactive appetite, you see..
All I ever wanted was to love you and take care of you-treat you as my king
But apparently I was just your sideline thing
Until you found something better
And as I cater to you, you're texting her and I'm writing you love letters
See, I was ready and willing to do whatever for you and you were just willing to let me
To forget me
And I regret we let it get this far
Because that much needed conversation that was for today always seemed to be put off until tomorrow
V is for the venom flowing through my veins with your blood type
You poison me with bullshit that floods my state of mind
Find yourself in time so I can discover the rest of life
So maybe next time it wont be filled with such strife
And might I have another try
"You had me at hello," but then goodbye
E is for energy wasted in you
You used to hold my attention, on of very few
Learning to love, doing things I don't do
They say to get something you never had, you must do something you never did
Spring cleaning to rid my tears and heartache
You don't even understand what it means to be first
And now Im cursed-my best man now the worst
My love has been replaced with cold ice
I'll continue on and try not to make the same mistake twice

What's Yo Name Again?

 5.22.11
10:53pm

Whats your name again??
 I try my best to ponder and nowhere in my mind is you fonder
What's your name again??
LOL.WTF. LBVS.OMG. FML
What's your name again??
Were you a friend?, a lover or just pretend?
I'm trying my best to comprehend
Maybe it'll be better if you had some picture mail to send
Quite interesting how you approached the bench
And you say you know me from where?
You thought loving me and leaving me because you weren't ready was fair?
Refusal to be trapped in your lie of webs or disgusting lair
New knowledge teaches me to be prepared
No competition if me and you were compared
Incompatible, Irrational, Miles from practical, now please tell me,
What's your name again?
As if I really care, so very unaware
Im not an angry, bitter bitch, but beware
Soothing feel of tranquility, a nurturing woman-come close if you dare
Again, you know me from where?
Distant from bullshit-epic fail
Forgotten memories, maybe they never existed
Looking up past emotions and it shows: UNLISTED
I'm guessing you could have fixed this
Hhmmm...I'm done with this conversation going no where, who are you but another man you think I should flatter?
Past friend, lover, whatever you were, it clearly doesn't matter
WAIT- you really think you know me huh??...
Whats yo name again??

You

 5.28.11
4:20AM-6:19AM

Your existence smells of sweet lilacs
Racks and sacks of merriment fills our gaps
Around this circle for you I'd run laps
On this love drug, any day I'd relapse
Affectionate song lyrics reiterates my heart's joy
The radio seems to know when I'm lovesick
Rereading charismatic sonnets and writing limericks
A career I'll never quit
A candle forever lit
A problem we'll always fix
A bullet i couldn't miss
What's another word for love???, Cuz this is it
Awaken me from nightmares that don't exist
Acknowledge past times I always love to miss
I hear the bass in your blink
Countless thoughts to think
You are the definition of kink;)
Your love forever embedded in me as ink
Indulgence in your every step
Reminiscing and seeing how much love is left
Delicately kissing, caressing your lips, holding on to your breath
More and more words don't do you any more justice
An eternity of love filled with overwhelming bliss

You Remind Me

5/30/11
1:47AM-5:53AM

You remind me of....a bird
Can't quite put my finger on the word
It most likely something you've never heard
Soaring throughout the heavens, an unknown forthcoming blurred
Eventually that feeling occurred
And it must be my muse
Explosive imagination, a fuse
Simplistic smiles to reuse
You won me over with that first wink
I want to be the chaser in your life and your drink
You remind me of the rain
The inspiration to give me faith that life continues on
Elegant scent of the fresh morning dew on every blade of grass on the lawn
Dancing in darkness dodging droplets barefoot
Lightening strikes and there goes that scared look, had me shook
But it's not fear-its passion, like in those fairy tale books
The one that stole my heart and did whatever it took
Melting clocks, don't record the time
Sincere friendship, distant lovers and finally this moment is mine
Breathtakingly kind
Slippery love making on the 50 yard line
To every boundary, I was blind
Using vibrant crayons to color outside each line, each rhyme
A tale as old as time
Whimsical creativity, how could I forget?
Frolicking excitedly to unwritten music
Clothes beside random park benches, neglect
Pure innocence, game reset
Call me crazy, you're perfect
Just one problem, I haven't met you yet

No Reservations

“No Reservations”

8.22.11 

He gives me love like-no reservations

No waiting, no contemplating

No temptations, extra marital relations

Just sweet serenity and intense appreciation

History in the making

No erasing past mistakes because it makes us

And its crazy cause, no one can seem to understand us

He gives me love like no reservations

Submissive to my king with divine adulation

Winks of public infatuation

I am not a prisoner in my skin, but rather an advocate for free love & adoration

Open communication, a lesson he taught

Falling in love was all our fault

Whispers of sweet everythings delighted me

And inspired me to be good to me and the best to we

Cause divided we die, so united we prosper

I have an acute sense of gratification, woman’s intuition

There is no competition because what I provide is mental

It’s a list that grows longer

Devotion that shows stronger daily, comprehend

A bond to feel to understand

And for me, there is only one man

Feeding my overactive appetite for procreation

Heightened sensuality and passionate affection

No calls, no waiting in line

Call me impulsive & impatient, but I want my love now and I want it with no reservations